1st review...Look out for the hotness

I’ve decided to start my movie-reviewing career with Beowulf, a CGI extravaganza with based on the book you read parts of in high school. More importantly it is a Josh Viers vehicle that he is going to ride str8 to the top!!!!!

If you want to know more about the more about the plot or the characters read a different review or talk to a high school student. Either will explain to you about the differences between the book and the movie.

For my first review I will bullet point the highlights and low lights of the film and then rate it in my own special way.

Begin.

Highlights:

1. Any art that Josh did, especially the Dragon Horn thing that Beowulf gets for killing Grendel. This guys is amazing!!! I tried to watch the movie when his art was on screen, but the word genius just kept running through my head.
2. Angelina Jolie. Played Grendel’s mother the Sea-Hag in the movie. Mostly naked and wet, sure she was CGI, but who cares.
3. If Angie was in the film you know Brad Pitt was around somewhere and he likes to ride motorcycles.
4. Beowulf likes to fight monsters mostly naked. Count how many amazing ways they came up with to hide the cartoon hero’s genitals during his fight scenes, it’s mind boggling.
5. Lastly Crispin Glover was in the movie, Willard anyone? The man can act.

Lowlights:

1. Creepy CGI animation, keep trying Robby Z. one of these days you’ll get it, one of these days.
2. The rest of the movie…I’m not sure if it was actually the movie that was painful or if it was watching it at 3:30 in the morning because my prescriptions were keeping me awake, but whatever the reason it was a tough watch.

I think I’ll give this movie one kick to the huevos and one piece of gum stuck to my shoe.

As much fun as I’ve had with this review, I will now return to Haberdashing.