I’ve decided to start my movie-reviewing career with Beowulf, a CGI extravaganza with based on the book you read parts of in high school. More importantly it is a Josh Viers vehicle that he is going to ride str8 to the top!!!!!
If you want to know more about the more about the plot or the characters read a different review or talk to a high school student. Either will explain to you about the differences between the book and the movie.
For my first review I will bullet point the highlights and low lights of the film and then rate it in my own special way.
Begin.
Highlights:
1. Any art that Josh did, especially the Dragon Horn thing that Beowulf gets for killing Grendel. This guys is amazing!!! I tried to watch the movie when his art was on screen, but the word genius just kept running through my head.
2. Angelina Jolie. Played Grendel’s mother the Sea-Hag in the movie. Mostly naked and wet, sure she was CGI, but who cares.
3. If Angie was in the film you know Brad Pitt was around somewhere and he likes to ride motorcycles.
4. Beowulf likes to fight monsters mostly naked. Count how many amazing ways they came up with to hide the cartoon hero’s genitals during his fight scenes, it’s mind boggling.
5. Lastly Crispin Glover was in the movie, Willard anyone? The man can act.
Lowlights:
1. Creepy CGI animation, keep trying Robby Z. one of these days you’ll get it, one of these days.
2. The rest of the movie…I’m not sure if it was actually the movie that was painful or if it was watching it at 3:30 in the morning because my prescriptions were keeping me awake, but whatever the reason it was a tough watch.
I think I’ll give this movie one kick to the huevos and one piece of gum stuck to my shoe.
As much fun as I’ve had with this review, I will now return to Haberdashing.
Career Change...
So I mentioned in one of my posts that my doctors told me to quit my job and try to figure out some sort of work I can do from home right? The question is what should I do now?
I’ve decided to give you the power to choose. I’m going to start a new career and I’ve narrowed it down to the choices on the right side of the blog.
Don’t feel bad I’ve thought about it and all of these choices work for me, they are all great opportunities.
Is it bad that as I finish typing this I’m wrapping up my insulin needle in a empty bag of cookies that I just opened about 10 minutes ago.
Please take my money
I’ve decided not working in an office is going to be a good opportunity for me. I’m going to start my own business and work out of my house. I decided the best place to look for help was the Internets.
If you’ve never tried the Internets, get there, I’m telling you it’s a great time.
Anyway I started looking for info about starting a business. It was pretty intense, write a business plan, find a mentor, set this legal stuff up, and do lots of other no fun stuff. After about five minutes I was struggling so I walked through my house looking for Lizzy. When I couldn’t find her I thought “if I were two where would I be”. I ran to the basement, she wasn’t playing my video games. I was confused.
So I get in my car and realize that she’s still in the back seat from earlier in the morning. Lucky for me it wasn’t to hot, Right, Huh? Don’t tell Jen she’ll get mad.
Back to business. I thought who needs a plan? I need supplies. I know someone once said “those who fail to plan, plan to fail”. But let me suggest that “those who fail to buy their supplies, furniture and equipment before they plan, should plan on an empty, uninspiring office that is not conducive to plan in.
I browsed the weekend paper for the best financing and found Office Depot had 12 months of 0% financing for 1 year. I was sold.
I found customer service and spoke to a very uninterested twenty something who offered not information.
Me: what about this no interest for 12 months?
Him: I don’t know
Me: how about a flyer?
Him: here’s an application
Me: Okay, I’ll fill it out after I read 14 pages of crap.
Him: Okay
I got approved and Lizzy and I were off. We tore through the store. She was like a little ninja climbing and throwing things all over. She had to touch and throw everything, it was wonderful.
I spent about 2 hours picking everything that I need to start my “business” in total my merchandise was over $700. I was so excited I headed back up to the same customer service guy because he was the only one I could find.
Me: I think I have every thing
Him: Okay
Me: let me get it out for you so you can scan it
Him: Okay
Beep beep beep beep….
Him: Your purchase doesn’t count towards our no interest financing.
Me: Why? It’s over the $400
Him: Well your desk has to be delivered
Me: Okay deliver it
Him: well that has to be separate
Me: Why
Him: It comes from a different location
Me: So, I’m buying it here, one purchase almost $700
Him: I can’t help it.
Me: The only reason I’m here is for the financing
Him: I’m sorry maybe if……..nope that doesn’t work….I’ll ring the rest up
Me: No I don’t want it with out the financing… can’t you do anything
Him: No
Me: Okay then cancel my card
Him: No you can keep it.
Me: I don’t want it
Him: that’s okay
So I get sad and leave my cart with a mound of merchandise at the customer service desk and go looking for Lizzy. It was easy this time she like highlighters.
We drove home listening to the Wiggles and trying to figure out why the store didn’t want to take my money and obviously wanted to crush my dreams of working from home.
Long story short my dreams are not crushed, lizzy and I went home and ate ice cream. I still have Staples and Best Buy and one day I will have all the supplies, equipment, and furniture that I’ll need to start planning a business.
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