This morning I woke up and found out that my “friend”, Joe Biden emailed me. He thanked me for the warm welcome that he received as the newest member of some sort of campaign.
My buddy Joe, went on to talk about my incredible accomplishments that I have had over the past 19 months, and gushed about how he was honored to being a “part of it”. I’m not positive which accomplishment he’s talking about so I’m going to try to make a list:
§ In January 2007 we brought Lizzy home with us ( I guess Joe had us in his thoughts)
§ In March, I didn’t get promoted at work, but I did move up from a single to a doublewide cubicle. (I’m not sure which strings my man pulled but they were magic)
§ I won the busy season math races at work just to show of my alpha accounting skills. More importantly I won easily and didn’t show any of my work That’s right, who’s cool? ( I know I couldn’t have accomplished this with out thoughts from Joe)
§ In December of 2007 I was able to find a job much closer to home and spend more time with lizzy ( big plus, way to go Joe)
§ Then I was admitted to the hospital 7 times in the next 7 months for everything from a scab to pneumonia. Sort of accomplishments, it my new all-time record
§ Finally, my doctors told me to quit my job and “try to figure out something that I could do from home”. (I’m not sure how he was “part of it” but I’m thankful.)
§ I can’t forget my biggest accomplishment in the last 19 months….I actually fell down some stairs and pee’d all over myself. I wasn’t drunk when I did this and imagine if by standers caught a peek it looked a little bit like a poor mans version of the Dancing Fountain in front of the Bellagio. (if Joe didn’t have a hand in this one I’d be sad)
Anyway I’ve never met, spoke to, or cared to listen to Joe Biden when he was on tv so I was surprised that he took so much interest in ME!
I’ve included a picture of the future, I’m thinking 19 months from now we will meet in our suits and ties to discuss all of my incredible accomplishments and how much more honored he is to finally meet me.
It’s hard to tell from the picture, but I’m actually telling Joe to take his hand out of my pocket because I don’t keep any accomplishments in there.
1 comment:
If Joe did all that, then I would like to thank him for making sure I got turned down for my 7th job in a row. I think he must have been instrumental in making sure the Artists' Guild Local 790 prevented me from getting work since I am not a member of their Union. Which is probably a good thing, since I doubt working on the "Green Lantern" with Zack Snyder (director of Watchment and 300) would've been any fun anyway.
He probably helped establish the rules for getting into Local 790 that I've been told over the phone: "To be a member of the guild you must work on a union show, and to work on a union show you must be a member of the guild."
Brilliant. Thanks you, Joe.
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